What I Am and What I Am Not

Today, I sat in a cultural proficiency teacher training designed to raise awareness of cultural differences and stereotypes. 

The class did an exercise in which we filled in the sentence: “I am_____ and I am not ____.” This got me thinking about how people see others who have a disability. People often judge based on what they see at first glance: clothes, hairstyle, shoes, walking style, and disability. They might not think that there is much more to a person. 

My sentence was: “I am disabled and I am not helpless.” Yes, I may need help doing certain things. Yes, I may drop things or trip over “thin air.” Yes, I wear ankle-foot orthosis to help me walk and balance. Yes, I have an awkward gait at times and steep steps scare me. However, this is not all that I am, and it does not define who I am.

I am learning that those who truly matter know my disability is not my full identity and that they do not care if I need help. In fact, they often are the first ones to offer. I am starting to accept those offers more and more. It is not always easy to admit I need help, but it’s becoming more comfortable. This is tough, as I want to be an independent woman who does not need any help from others. I know that is pretty unrealistic. Everyone needs help at some point. But I don’t want to be seen as “helpless.” I want to do things myself. I know that with a progressive disorder like CMT, this is not always possible. Asking for help does not make me helpless or incapable. It just says I need a little extra help (OK, sometimes a lot) to complete a task.

I am thankful for friends who understand my situation and do not make a big deal out of the fact that I need assistance. They love me for me and accept my disability without question. They know that I am disabled and I am not helpless.

***

Note: Charcot-Marie-Tooth News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Charcot-Marie-Tooth News or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Charcot-Marie-Tooth.